Monday, August 28, 2006

Language

I'm fascinated by language. When I was in Turkey, I loved seeing how their language reflected the culture. Turkish is very straight-forward. No, it's not easy, but it's pretty logical...you just have to learn their logic. They don't have irregular verbs. The written language matches the spoken language: each letter represents the sound you make with it. No consonant blends, nothing.

One of the fun things was to find words in Turkish that are also words in English. Like "ben." Ben means "me" or "I." I met an American named Ben...I figured he had a lot of fun learning to say "Ben ben," or "it's Ben" when he called someone one the phone.

When I was in 8th grade, I was in Bible Quizzing with a group of kids in my church. We studied the book of Acts. I don't remember much anymore (that was a loooooong time ago) but one thing that always stuck out to me was "Saul, who was also called Paul." Whenever God changed someone's name, like Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Jacob to Israel, the Bible always mentioned the change in meaning. Not so here. As a matter of fact, later on in the book, chapters after the "change" from Saul to Paul, when he is giving a sermon in Aramaic, he calls himself Saul.

I did some digging online (I know, not the most reliable, but it's also a good place to find unusual opinions) and apparently the word "Saul" meant something bad, or at least negative, in whatever language he started speaking in when he did his traveling (Greek, I think). It was a fine name in Hebrew, but not so when he was sharing with these people who didn't know Hebrew. So he adopted a name that sounded close to his own, but didn't have the negative connotations that Saul did. It wasn't that God changed his name. That likely would have happened at conversion, not a few chapters later!

It really doesn't matter...this isn't a sermon or anything like that. To me, though, it's much more interesting than if his name had been changed because of his conversion. He tried hard to be "all things to all people," and even used his name to reflect that. I understand; if my name had meant something terrible in Turkish, you'd better believe I would have come up with something else for them to call me there!

Friday, August 25, 2006

Lessons from Veggie Tales

Jasmine's newest favorite Veggie Tales video, Sumo of the Opera, has taught me something important. (how funny is that??) Not only is it hilarious, especially the idea of showing someone a silent movie while they're on the phone with you, but it's pretty deep, too.

The scripture verse at the end of it is Hebrews 10:36: "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

I love "finished" things. I love the feeling of stepping away from the laundry, washed, dried, folded, and put away. Or a kitchen with no dishes on the counter (you wouldn't know that at the moment, but when the first load is dry I will wash the rest). I love finishing a box of cereal, especially if it's one I didn't particularly like.

But the past few days, I've started to feel kinda discouraged about our finances. Josh has been working 11-hour days for more than two months now. We've had some things that needed to be done before putting huge chunks of money toward the credit cards (like making sure we had enough padding in the bank account that we wouldn't immediately put more on the credit card). And I know that the things we're doing are going to make a difference, at least as much as if we'd just started paying extra toward our debt. But the credit cards feel rather neglected.

We've been going out to dinner again, which is supposed to come out of the money I make from transcribing his dad's seminar so they can translate it into another language. But we've been spending it before I actually get the check, so basically it's still coming out of our bank account.

So it's getting kinda discouraging. I mentioned to Josh that I'd like to just go back to the way we were living before, since we were somehow "making it."

But God wants more from us than that. When I think of how much our mindset has changed, how we don't see the credit cards as a way to buy things we can't afford, how the silly phrase in commercials about "with the money we saved, we can buy _____", how we're buying more meaningful, but less expensive presents for family and especially each other, we're cutting coupons and not buying the most expensive groceries on a regular basis...we really have come a long ways. I wish we could have started some of this when we first got married; we'd be in much better shape now. But we didn't know, and we have some awesome memories (Turkey and Hawaii) that I'm glad we were able to do pre-children.

So I'm thankful. I'm encouraged to "keep on keepin' on" and that it will be so worth it. The feeling of seeing the credit card balances go to $0, paying off my student loan...it will be out of this world. And then we'll have that money that can go towards fun things, instead of just paying interest on the current loans. And that will feel amazing, too.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Just a layout

I couldn't believe how big Jasmine looked yesterday, when I put barrettes in her hair. So I got a few pictures and made a layout this morning. A rare non-sketch layout :)

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

update on the appointment with my midwife

The appointment (in case you didn't read the last post about why this appointment was needed, here it is) went great. She didn’t change the date back, BUT acknowledged that the date could be wrong, and that if my 18 week u/s (16-weeks by my date) shows the baby smaller (which it will, since they think I’ll be 18 weeks!) then they’ll look at all the numbers and back it back up to something closer to my date.

And even then, it’s not set in stone. If the baby seems fine and there’s plenty of fluid, they won’t rush to induce.

And, worse scenario (not worst-case, but certainly far from ideal) if they induce me, she’ll make sure they do it gradually and let me keep walking around, and cut the pitocin as soon as my body kicks in. So none of those horror stories about all the pitocin making it unbearable.

It was really interesting. Only 20% of the women who choose to go with her, intend to have natural childbirth. When she was studying to be a CNM, she had the idealistic view that she’d have all natural births, having no idea how few women around here go for that.
It really helped to explain why there are so few doctors and midwives that push natural birth, why there’s no birthing center, no homebirthing midwife, no birthing suites in the hospital...everyone goes in expecting an epidural! Sad, but it really helped everything to click.
So she’s thrilled that I’m so determined to do this, and she’s going to do everything in her power to help that to happen. And if there’s another woman in labor when I go in, she’ll likely come see me, since the other woman will likely not need her as much as the anesthesiologist. :)

So that’s the appointment. We are both so reassured. She was so disappointed to hear that I left crying from my last appointment…said I should have called her and talked about it right away. So I’m thrilled that I didn’t wait to talk to her until my next appointment. She said it’s certainly nothing to lose sleep over, and I really believe she’ll do all she can to help us do this the right way :)

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

State and County Fairs

I don't want to go to the county fair.

Why? Because I went to the State Fair when I was in high school, and had the time of my life.

I know, a little silly reasoning. But it does make sense (to my pregnant mind, anyways).

I went with Karen, one of my closest friends. We had so much fun that day. Visited the llamas in the petting zoo and fell in love with one. I spent the rest of the afternoon wishing I'd taken a picture of him, so we finally went back...and he was resting in the back of the tent, so the picture didn't turn out well.

Dippin' Dots were just starting out, and there were two booths of them. We went to each of them for free samples and then spent the day trying to figure out if the guys would recognize us, or if we could go back for more free samples.

We heard the Syracuse marching band warm up...using the same warmups we used!

I know we did other things, but those are the memories I held onto the most clearly. It was such a fun day, and I'm afraid that going again would be so different, I'd walk away disappointed.

Thanks for putting the bar so high, Karen :D

A quick poll

I put a poll on my sidebar...I'll leave it up for a couple weeks. I'm curious to see what people call it :)

Monday, August 21, 2006

A video

I'm watching an exciting Yankees game, so this is going to be quick.

Jasmine loves to sing along with her flower toy, as you can see, but she's also definitely got a mind of her own. She's pretty funny :)
Jasmine singing and being silly. (video)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Wow! Thanks, everyone!

I definitely figured out how to get comments :D

Thanks for all the great feedback, both those that agreed and those that "agreed to disagree." It means a lot to me!

I won't turn this whole blog into an opinionated one...it's not who I am. But maybe I won't be quite so scared to do it once in awhile, when it's something that's really bothering me.

Thanks!!!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I've still got some growing up to do

I'm going to try to make this as unspecific as possible to keep from any misunderstandings. It's not about anyone in particular, just some realizations about myself.

I mentioned a couple months ago, how hard it is for me to understand different points of view. I'm realizing that, if it's something I've somehow struggled through in the past, I'm that much more intolerant of others for not even hearing the other possible points of view.

An example: one area where I'm not "crunchy" (natural, organic, et al) is about diapers. We use disposable. After growing up with cloth diapers and smelling the pail on its way to the laundry room, and having to rinse the dirty diapers, I wanted nothing more to do with it. I know it's bad for the environment, I know it's more expensive, and I know that cloth can be better for sensitive-skinned babies. It's easy to justify while we live in an apartment...laundry is expensive here, so that makes the "cost" factor more of a wash. But even if we had a house with a washer and dryer, I would be using disposable.
I know that people who have chosen cloth think that's inexcusable, and I understand all their reasons. But it's our decision, and I hope they respect my decision.

But I have a hard time understanding parents who choose things other than what I do. I think, "how could they do __________ to their kids??" and don't do a good job respecting their decision.

This post really isn't going anywhere at all, I just wanted to talk. Anyone else feel that way, or am I just really immature??

Thursday Thirteen

13 things I love about being pregnant
(learned about this from Deanna)

1. Great nails!
2. Feeling the baby kick (still waiting...but soon!)
3. the freedom to cry whenever I want :)
4. eating as much as I want
5. indulging in my cravings
6. the freedom to put up my feet whenever I want/need to
7. great hair!
8. that "glow"
9. having a place to put my hands when I'm standing around
10. having people guess what I'm having
11. keeping secrets (we're not telling what our name choices are until s/he is born, and then only the one we use!)
12. the excitement of the ultrasound
13. hearing the baby's heartbeat at all the appointments

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

3 months!!

Just a fly-by post!


So...do I look pregnant yet? :)

Monday, August 14, 2006

Bad, bad appointment

I had my prenatal appointment this afternoon.
Strike one: it wasn’t with the midwife
Strike two: it was with a male doctor I didn’t know.
Strike three: he made me sit in the office for about 30 minutes before showing up. And this was after being sent back out to the waiting room after getting my weight, etc, checked by the nurse.
Strike four (that’s how bad it was, the ump couldn’t count): they’re changing my “official” EDD to 2/7. I showed him my chart, showed him I couldn’t have possibly been pregnant nine days earlier, but they trust technology. I’m so upset. I really, really hope at my next appointment, with the midwife, she will agree we can change it back. But I don’t know.

I argued. I fought. I interrupted him. I’ve never been so forward and outspoken. But since I know that Jasmine needed the extra time, I don’t want to be rushed into this.

As a friend of mine said though…if they schedule me for an induction before I think I’m ready, nothing says I have to show up. I don’t like the saying, but it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission, and I think this is one case where I may use that. I will not be induced before the baby’s true EDD, and if they only let me go a week over, the induction would be on 2/14 (nice day, but too early).

Grrrrr....

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Layouts

I think I can finally hit the sack in a few minutes (Jasmine is finally just about asleep) but I thought I should put up a few recent layouts. Enjoy :)
(all are at my DigiChick Gallery)



Thursday, August 10, 2006

"A penny saved is a penny earned"

When did the meaning of "save" change from being about putting it away for a later date, to not spending it?

How many commercials in a typical commercial break talk about what you "can do with the money you save"? They don't mean the money you've stored up in the bank. They mean the difference between the sale price and the regular price.

But how many times, when it's a big purchase, do you have that money set aside ahead of time? If you're going to buy a car, do you pay cash? Then it is money still in your pocket, and you can certainly do something else with it.

But if it's going to be in the form of a loan, it's not your money, ever. So you can't spend that 'saved' money.

Somehow, though, they've gotten us to believe that it is our money, and we can do with it as we please. I don't get it.

Josh and I are slowly changing our views on money...how to save, how to spend, how to pay off loans, and ultimately, how to be completely debt-free and wealthy. It will happen! We're learning, and we're starting to use those lessons to make progress towards both of those goals.

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Layouts I did this morning during Jasmine's long nap. Both use Holley VanDenBerg's "Jane" kit (found at Liddy's Loft) and stitching by Jan Crowley (from her "Little Black Dress" kit, found at TDC). The first is for a sketch challenge on Liddy's Loft, and the second is a picture I've loved since Josh took it almost a year ago, but somehow never thought to scrap :)


Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Clarinet Stuff

I haven't played all that much since I got out of college. I played in the college-community orchestra the year before I met Josh, and for the first semester married, and then had to stop...it's a ridiculous drive :)

And playing in pit orchestras is my all-time favorite way to play. There is one person per part, so I can't "lean on" anyone else. It's all me. And you never know what nerves will do to the actors...if they sing it twice as fast as they ever did in rehearsal, you follow and stay right with them. It's vital to stay on top of things (unless you're a clarinet playing Mozart's Magic Flute, in which case it's a good idea to bring a long book. BORING part!) No orchestra score is quite as exciting (For a clarinetist) as Fiddler on the Roof, but others have their moments and are just a great experience.

So when I heard that they needed a clarinet in the musical our church is putting on next Easter, I jumped at the chance. Um, but I'll have a one-month old. So timing could be interesting.

There was a meeting last night for all the actors, dancers, musicians and others, interested in being a part of this. I talked to the girl who will be conducting and organizing the orchestra. She needs two clarinets...there were two of us there (the other was a woman I've never seen before) and she (the conductor) can play too, if necessary.

I told her I was willing to be the one to be "cut" because of the baby...but I'm still going to audition (also a weird thing for me...never auditioned for a pit orchestra before! It's always been with people who know my ability! Haven't actually auditioned since before college, so this is a great chance to brush up on my skills a bit).

The music is very, very easy. It does some time-signature changes, though even that is pretty easy and makes sense with the words. Not just changing for the sake of doing it. So she suggested that we play something with time-signature changes for the audition. Yay Bernstein...I played a piece just like that, probably 9 years ago.

I played for a few minutes last night, and then again this afternoon. It feels so good to play! It helped that Jasmine was sitting in her high chair, munching on a bagel, enjoying my music.

And now I have the "line" in my lower lip that comes from playing the clarinet (actually it's from my teeth in my lip, but practicing it is what brings it back). So much fun :)

Monday, August 07, 2006

The Story I mentioned in my last post

Okay, this is my very favorite story from my two years in Turkey. And that says a lot, since you could get me talking for a solid week, sans sleep, and I wouldn't run out of stories :)

When we visited Eastern Turkey, we were driving through the mountains, getting very close to Mt. Ararat. (soooo cool!!) The tour guide asked if we'd like to stop for tea. We said sure...thinking we'd pass a small cafe or something. Next thing we know, he stopped along the side of a mountain. There was a nomadic Kurdish family there. He got out, and a minute or so later, the 11 of us yabanci (foreigners) climbed out of the bus.

They served us tea, and offered us cheese, which he told us not to eat because our bodies weren't used to the bacteria in that part of the country. I think it was probably made from goat's milk, as they were goat farmers. They would travel higher up the mountain as spring and then summer progressed, letting their goats graze on the grass there. I don't know what else they did...other than live in tents.

They spoke Kurdish. The father spoke Turkish, but I knew it wouldn't be culturally appropriate for me to initiate conversation. One of the young girls (probably close to 20) spoke minimal Turkish: "what is your name" and "how old are you". Strange to me, that someone who was "native" to that country couldn't speak the language as well as I could. But we tried, and we all smiled a lot.

They offered (through the tour guide) to let us stay there for the night. Turkish hospitality is far more than I have ever experienced in America, but they did even more. They offered to let us stay in their tent!! Their only posession! I was so touched.

Obviously we didn't stay there, but I will never forget their kindness and hospitality. It really made me realize, when we hear about the Kurds in the news, it's similar to any other culture. 95% of the people are normal and just want to get by, but then a few people are troublemakers who give the others a bad name.

Okay, I have a couple pictures. These are paper-scrapped layouts (I'm terrified to show these!!) and not great pictures (um, hadn't figured out taking flash pictures with the pages behind plastic wasn't such a smart idea) but I can't get to the book right now to take new pictures. You can at least get an idea :)

Music triggering Memories

I love how music triggers strong memories. I can usually tell what I did when I first heard a CD, over and over and over...like when I first got Sims, I listened to Switchfoot's "Beautiful Letdown" CD over and over. So now, even though I don't have Sims anymore, I can still see the little guys walking around the screen when I hear them sing. Other songs trigger memories of jigsaw puzzles, or scrapbooking...

When I visited Eastern Turkey, we had a tour guide who was half Turkish, half Kurdish, and very proud of his heritage. He played Kurdish music for us...very eerie and melancholy. Driving through that part of the country, where there is rough land and it has to be hard to farm enough food for your family, let alone make any money. The music fits the landscape perfectly. Now I can listen to the music and see the landscape. And smile at the memories (I'll tell you that one soon. Great, great story)

And sometimes memories are formed from one very defining moment, usually the first time I heard a song. Every time I hear "Piano Man," for example, I can see myself, a high school freshman, standing in a practice room, with as many people as we could cram in there, listening to everyone sing it while a senior played it on the piano.

But sometimes memories come back, that actually have nothing to do with the song. The first song on Switchfoot's newest CD, for some reason, triggers memories of early college. I have no idea why...I heard them for the first time only about 2 or 3 years ago, long after college.

And a CD I got after a night camping, reminds me of the feeling of looking at the beautiful scenery at that camping site.

Music is a funny thing :) I should know...I was a music major!!

(funny side note: I'm planning to play in the Pit Orchestra of my church's production of Narnia next Easter, when I have a one-month old!! Am I nuts? Very possibly! But this is my all-time favorite way to play...there's nothing like the adrenaline rush of playing difficult music, having no-one else playing your part, and being aware that the actor could get nervous and sing the song twice as fast as he sang it in rehearsal, and you have to be right there with him!)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Story Time

I had some good sleep last night...just enough to make me realize how tired I was. But the chiropractor fixed Jasmine (there was a "spot" in her neck, making it uncomfortable to turn her head to the right, and also to sleep) so she (and I) should start getting sleep again. Hallelujah! I'm so thankful that Josh suggested that maybe it was something a chiropractor could help with, since nothing else we tried seemed to help.

Because I dreamed about Turkish food last night, and it's so sunny and hot right now, I've been reminiscing more than normal. So I thought I'd share a story with you about my time there...hopefully non-travellers will still find it interesting.

Until my first visit to Turkey in 1997, I had never been around roosters. Seriously. When we stayed at a hotel in a small village, there was a farm next door with a rooster. I had no idea they crowed all day. I thought they crowed once or twice in the morning, and then went on with their day.
Everyone who grew up on a farm, or who spent time with chickens is probably laughing at my ignorance, but I had no idea!

Fast-forward about 3 1/2 years. I have a music class in Istanbul, a city of 15-18 million (depending on how much of the outskirts you count). Ortakoy, the area I lived in, was right in the middle (orta=middle) but the school was in a quieter area, and there were families trying to keep their rural roots strong, I guess. Outside one of the apartments directly outside of my window, there was a family keeping a rooster. Who crowed. All. Day. Long. Even though it was heading to late spring and I would have liked my windows open, I had to keep them closed, or he would really distract my music class.

I tried to have fun with it, finding as many songs with roosters in them as I could. But it was pretty distracting.

Finally, one day I saw people out there, catching him. I didn't watch anything, but the crowing stopped.

I was thrilled! I sent an email to all the teachers: "ding dong, the rooster's dead!"

I heard back from one of them (with her room on the other side of the building, I might add, so she didn't hear him all the time): how could I be so cruel and want him dead???

Everyone else understood my joy. It wasn't that I wanted him dead, I just wanted him gone. I would have been just as glad if he had gone to a farm somewhere (though it would have been harder to find an appropriate song to tell them about it!)

*sigh* I guess there will always be people who don't understand.

I now smile whenever I think of a rooster and how distracting they are. :)


And two layouts from today:




Both can be found on TheDigiChick :)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My Little Sunshine

Jasmine has decided that she needs to be a sunshine 24/7. She hasn't slept well for the last week. Which means I haven't slept well either. Not good for any of us! Hopefully things will change soon...in the meantime, I'm thankful that I don't feel as tired as I should, being 11 weeks pregnant and running on very interrupted sleep.

I updated my 101 list. I'm getting there :)

Wow. I haven't posted layouts in awhile. Here are a few I've done the past few days. All are from sketches by Kimberly Geswein (how did I ever scrap before sketches???) :) You can find them in my gallery on TDC, if you want to see where the papers, etc, came from (link on side of blog).