Honesty

(warning: this is one of those write-as-I-think-of-it posts, not well thought-out at all!)



This week I was a part of something political, for the first time in my life (well, other than voting). It was so exciting to see others who agree with us! It was invigorating and just awesome. The kids had a great time being a part of it, too!

But it made me think more about myself.

One of my goals in life is to make people around me comfortable and happy. It's not an insecurity on my part...I just enjoy seeing other people happy. In return, though, I really don't want to be made uncomfortable. I don't need people to do what I do, but don't appreciate it when people attack me for my beliefs.

So I am very quiet about things I know most people disagree with. Even on occasions when I know I'm not in the minority, I still avoid it. It's one thing to write a post about how much how much I love Wegmans, which was fun but really not controversial (unless someone who reads this is pro-Tops ;) ), it's another thing entirely to write about our choice to have a home birth or to homeschool.

And you know what? I really don't see myself changing anytime soon. Sure, it feels good to have a twitter account where I'm more outspoken politically, and I love having groups of friends I can open up to about nursing in public. But for the most part, I'm fine keeping those thoughts quiet around the general public.

I found out a few months ago, that if you're open to talking about it, I will talk to you about things that are more controversial. I will be polite and respectful, and I need the same from you. Don't come to me trying to convert me to your line of thinking, though. If I honestly am looking for how I feel, I'll let you know that. But even then, if I feel like you're trying too hard to convert me, I'll shut down completely! Pushiness is very unattractive to me.

Which is why I don't push myself on others, as well. Even though my heart breaks thinking about people who don't know Jesus, knowing that they need him, I just pray for them and try to keep the lines of communication open. It's just not in my makeup to evangelize. I couldn't try to sell at JoAnn's, I couldn't convince people to try samples of bread products at Wegmans, and I can't walk up to someone and say "do you know where you're spending eternity?" Definitely different levels of importance, but all are things I'm uncomfortable with and watch enviously as people like my brother can just jump in and talk comfortably with anyone!