Thursday, May 31, 2012

Giving Up

I really thought, after my last big lesson, I'd have a little time to just kinda cruise through life for a few months.
Apparently God thought otherwise. And this time I'm sharing about it midway through, instead of waiting until I've gotten through it.
Something I've always disliked about myself is that I give up too easily. Like, way too easily. It's pretty funny, for someone obsessed with finishing things, that I'll stop so early in the process, so much of the time.
This morning, for instance, I almost gave up on three things.
Three. Before 8:30 in the morning.
What turned it around so that it became "almost"?
This song:

I wanted to stop running this morning. Possibly get rid of the treadmill and stop altogether.
I wasn't any more uncomfortable than I've been the past few runs. (I can't wait to get to where running is fun. Right now it feels good to complete it, but it's exhausting and difficult and not "fun" yet.) But I wanted to stop. 
And then this song came on. And not only did I keep running and make it to the end, but now I'm ready to try to finish the other things, too.

I still want to give up. But finishing the run proved to me that it doesn't feel good to quit. It feels much better to finish. 

I'm afraid to fail. The things I quit are things I don't feel like I have a chance at completing victoriously. But I think I could succeed on at least some of those things, and I'll only know if I can do it, if I keep trying.

So here is me, officially saying I'm not giving up. Even in the face of incredible difficulty, on little sleep and an empty coffee canister, I'm not giving up.

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